Client Highlight: Breanna S.
Can you describe the moment when you realized you wanted to start your journey of recovery?
“I think at first when I started my recovery I was really doing it for other people. I wasn't doing it for myself, I was doing it because I was in DUI court and the requirements are to stay sober. It felt like I was kind of pushed into sobriety and I didn't realize I had a drinking problem as severe as I did. I remember lying about my sobriety and emphasizing how many days I had been sober. I felt so agitated because I thought I had no “real” reason to be sober. It was through my journey in DUI Court that I realized what a benefit it is for me to be sober and to stay sober. I remember coming home after court and being alone in a house that wasn’t mine thinking ‘Who am I? What am I doing with my life?’ I realized I had nothing and I was at the bottom of a hole that I had to dig myself out of– drinking wasn’t helping me like I thought, it was the pit of all my problems. When I started to take things seriously, I realized ‘wow I do have a serious drinking problem and it's affecting a lot of things in my life’.”
What have been some of the most significant challenges you’ve encountered and how have you handled them along the way?
“Managing my emotions. I found it really hard to manage emotions especially because I was masking all of that through alcohol. Facing my truths about my addiction was really hard because, again, I didn't realize I was an alcoholic at all. I didn’t know how I was going to manage all the responsibilities of DUI court because before that I didn’t have any responsibilities… and by that I mean I was neglecting them. Trying to navigate life without alcohol, without that main source of coping I had, it was hard. I went into it with this mindset that there would be a way around it, you know? But there wasn’t, so that realization was hard for me.”
Have you discovered new activities or practices that have positively impacted your recovery?
“So at the beginning of my sobriety, I did all the things, like diamond art, puzzles, going for walks… I was really just filling my sobriety time instead of actually digging deep and looking into myself– looking at how I can really serve and better myself. Throughout my addiction, I wasn’t confident anymore, I wasn’t doing the things I loved, I wasn’t taking care of myself. It was during my journey of recovery that I really decided to focus on myself again. I was doing my hair and makeup again, showing myself love, trying to put myself back together, really. I looked forward to opening up. Groups really helped me. Listening to other people, taking in the information, I learned a lot from groups and therapy. I began digging deep within myself and realized all that I was hiding when I was drinking. Instead of hiding them, I wanted to find out why I was feeling them and therapy helped me do that.”
What Driftless Recovery services have you/do you participate in? What have you found helpful?
“As far as my time here in services, I'm just so thankful and happy that I found Driftless Recovery. I was in SOP (Structured Outpatient Program), Relapse Prevention, and individual therapy. This was my first time ever getting therapy. It’s so important to feel heard and feel connected to others in your sobriety. I learned the most about my addiction by relating to others. You know, at first you feel like there’s no one who knows what you’re going through, but I learned so much about myself from other people. Before Driftless Recovery, I didn’t know I had a problem, or I didn’t see it as a problem. I learned just how normalized addiction is too. Being a part of a group is so important.”
What are some milestones or achievements you feel proud of?
“Throughout my sobriety, I have had so many achievements and so many moments I've felt proud of. I’m proud of the work ethic I’ve gained back. When I was in my addiction, it was so hard for me to keep a job or stay at a job. I was always leaving, but I’m so happy at the place I’m at right now. I’m so thankful that I’m able to work. Through my hard work I was able to get my license back, my vehicle back, and I have a beautiful apartment… The things I want I’m able to get now whereas when I first started my recovery I didn’t have anything. I’ve graduated from DUI court, I’ve graduated SOP, I’m just in a way better place than when I started my journey and I’m so proud of myself for that.”
What have you learned about yourself during your time in services?
“I’ve learned that being that ‘party girl’ isn’t everything. I used to use alcohol to be able to talk to people or to feel like myself and be happy, but I’ve learned that it’s me that’s going to make me happy, not a substance. I really thought that alcohol was going to solve every problem when really it was making the issues. I’ve gained my confidence back and I’ve learned that life is not just about alcohol.”
What plans/goals do you have for yourself moving forward?
“My plan moving forward is to stay committed to my sobriety. It’s been such a positive year in my life, none of this would have happened if I wasn’t sober. I’d really like to go to an esthetician school and start that soon too. I just plan on staying consistent with myself and remember how far I’ve come.”
Final message to the readers:
”Never give up on yourself. Reach out. I wish that during my experience, I would have reached out more and realized I was not alone. I was so grateful to know how many people were also in my shoes, struggling day to day and not knowing where to start. I wouldn’t have obtained the knowledge I have now about sobriety, coping, stress management, and many other skills if it was not for the resources here at Driftless. Not only that, but I finally had a chance to build relationships with people who I felt really heard me.
Lastly, it is up to you and only you. If you want to be better, you have to do it for yourself. I was just lucky enough to be pointed in the right direction.
Yes, it is hard. But it is worth it. You are worth it.”
